Edmonton Left...

You know that joke about the guy who drove 459 miles to Edmonton? Right before he got to the city he saw a BIG sign that read "Edmonton Left" .... so he went home... haha yeah I know.. lame... but that joke has always rattled around inside my head. I heard it at a young age... i'd say around 7. It was one of the first "play on words" jokes that I heard. At the tender age of 7 I thought the joke was genius... and since then I've always had a fondness for words. Words that sound the same but have two meanings, like watch for example. Watch can mean "Watch out Frank he has a gun!!!" or it could mean "according to my watch it's 12:30...and that guy still has a fucking gun". Very cool... and over the years I've had about ... 7 companies and I would always try to give them one of those double meaning words. For example I had a company years ago that dealt with telephone technology, ie voice mail and answering services and the like. I called it Intellitech, which was short for "Intelligent Technology".

Now I could go on for days and days... or get to the point. The problem is, I don't think I really had a point, other than the fact that I like how the simplest of things can have multiple layers. On the surface, it's simple, but deep down, it's complex. That's why things like conspiracy theories and alternate history has always appealed to me. A picture is worth a thousand words,,, but which words? I like my entertainment to either be spoon fed, so I can shut of my mind and enjoy it... or to be complex. The band Tool is such an example. Their brand new album just came out. It's called "10,000 days". Turns out 10,000 days is the length of time that James Keenan Maynard's mother was paralyzed from a stroke before she died. She was a strict catholic… actually I shouldn’t assume. She was very religious and I guessed Catholic because they seemed to be the most tortured. Maynard is the lead singer of Tool for those who don’t know, he’s also the lead singer for his side project band called “A Perfect Circle”. In that band he also had a song about his mother called “Judith”. I guess he was plenty pissed that his mother kept her faith and remained religious after what happened to her.. Some of the meaning to the lyrics to Judith become clear when you learn the story. His mother has a heart attack and becomes paralyzed but through ALL that, never questions why enough to loose her faith. It seems that that REALLY got under Maynards skin. I can’t remember specifically but I think he’s an Atheist… like myself. So he wrote:

Oh so many ways for me to show you
How the savior has abandoned you
Fuck your God
Your Lord and your Christ
He did this
Took all you had and
Left you this way
Still you pray, you never stray
Never taste of the fruit
You never thought to question why

It's not like you killed someone
It's not like you drove a hateful spear into his side
Praise the one who left you
Broken down and paralyzed
He did it all for you
He did it all for you

Anger eh? The funny thing is I ‘m an Atheist as well, and although I left my anger at god behind long ago, I totally understand Maynards suffering. Well I shouldn’t say I understand, I should say I can appreciate where it comes from. I didn’t have a loved one paralyzed for 10,000 days. That works out to about 27.3 years by the way. Anyhoo… my point is that Tool’s music has a lot of deeper meaning and hidden, hard to find jewels. They can preach a point of view without a podium and I like that… a lot. Their albums can be spoon fed fun… or you can do a little research and come up with even more of the story, and it’s intentional. It’s not the fan playing the record backwards to find out the Beatles are messengers from god telling me to commit Helter Skelter. It’s my understanding that their music is mathematical. The length of the song times, the number of beats etc add up to hidden messages etc. On the whole it’s just good ol fashioned fun. The drummer Danny Carey is crazy too! In a good way. Check out part of this article about Danny:

“Despite not becoming a Mason or aligning himself with any other school of religion,

Danny has maintained his heritages interest in occult studies. Endeavors into this realm have manifested periodically, such as the time he achieved insight into a hidden aspect of the unicursal hexagram utilizing an astral journey initiated through meditation and DMT.

Danny then set up his drums into proportions utilizing the circle and square of the New Jerusalem and uttered a short prayer relating to the principles of the ace of swords from the book of Thoth. He then performed a ritual utilizing his new found knowledge of the unicursal hexagram to generate a pattern of movement in space relating to Fuller's vector equilibrium model. The resulting rhythm and gateway summoned a daemon he has contained within "the Lodge" that has been delivering short parables similar to passages within the Book of Lies. Danny recommends as a device of protection and containment a thorough study and utilization of the underlying geometry of the Temple of Solomon for anyone purchasing their next record.”

CRAZY!!! Yeah I can go into it etc but…. Wow…

SO I highly suggest picking up Tools new album “10,000 days” not just because the album will actually summon demons… although that’s cool too, but because it KICKS ASS!!!

Oh and if I see ONE MORE FUCKING EDMONTON OILERS FLAG hanging from a car I’m goinna kill a cute little bunny.

That’s my sticking and I’m story to it.